


count your blessings

by cathect



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Domestic, Drabble, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Less than 1K, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-31 16:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12136581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathect/pseuds/cathect
Summary: Of course he’s wondered. How could he not? In the dead of the night, when he can’t sleep - despite the comforting sound of his lover’s breathing next to him - he thinks about it, thinks about the fact that if he had noticed that fucking grenade sooner, Eggsy wouldn’t have grown up without a father. And, on one hand, that’s his greatest mistake.But on the other…-or the one where eggsy hits a bit of a sore spot / just a little drabble





	count your blessings

**Author's Note:**

> so, for those of you that have already seen this, i ended up changing the structure. instead of doing a whole story of drabbles, i am going to post them all separately. so, yeah.

It’s late on a Monday night that Eggsy finally says it.

“You know I don’t blame you, right?”

Harry’s reading in his armchair, Eggsy’s on his laptop across from him and, up until now, they’ve been in total silence. Silence is always comfortable for them, especially in Harry’s office. It’s like their sanctuary.

“Pardon?” It’s been a long day, and Harry’s not even sure he’s processed the other man’s words correctly. The older man slips his bookmark between the pages and closes the beat up copy of  _ The Riddle of the Sands _ .

“I said I don’t blame you.” Eggsy repeats himself with no trace of animosity in his voice for having to do so. “For my dad.”

And now he has Harry’s undivided attention.

“I know you’ve wondered.” The blond lowers the screen of his laptop, sets it off to the side. “But I just wanted to make sure you know I don’t blame you for his death.”

Harry blinks.

Of course he’s wondered. How could he not? In the dead of the night, when he can’t sleep - despite the comforting sound of his lover’s breathing next to him - he thinks about it, thinks about the fact that if he had noticed that fucking grenade sooner, Eggsy wouldn’t have grown up without a father. And, on one hand, that’s his greatest mistake.

But on the other…

Harry hates himself, shames himself, for the thoughts he’s had about the situation. Sometimes he thinks that if Eggsy could hear his thoughts, he’d never forgive him, if he knew that part of him is grateful. Even thinking it now, Harry knows he’s the worst person alive. Who else would call the deaths of one of their friends a blessing, if not in the traditional sense?

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Suddenly, Harry realizes he’s yet to respond to Eggsy’s statement. He clears his throat, collecting his thoughts. What is going on in that head?

_ I’m grateful, on some level, that your father sacrificed himself for me. If he hadn’t, I never would have had you in my life like this. _

“Nothing.” Is what he says instead.

“Nothing?” Eggsy raises his eyebrows, a smirk playing on his lips, as he stands up. “The Harry Hart I know never has  _ nothing _ going on in ‘is mind.” He crosses the small space between them, draping himself over Harry’s lap. He’s wearing the sort of clothes he fancied before the Kingsmen took him in, a bomber jacket over a tee shirt and jeans. As much as Harry loves to see his lover in a pinstripe suit, there’s something about this that just fits Eggsy so much better.

And he’s got a smile on his face now, as Harry slips an arm around his waist, his fingers pressed into the bottom of Eggsy’s ribs. Harry could swim in that smile for hours.

“Have I told you lately that you are absolutely lovely?” He uses his free hand to stroke his fingers along the younger man’s jaw. Eggsy presses into his touch for a moment, but his eyes are still set.

“Don’t change the subject, ol’ man.” He warns. Harry shakes his head, dropping his hand back into his lap. “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I really need you to know that I don’t see you as the man who lost my father his life.”

Harry can’t even meet his eyes anymore, and Eggsy presses forward so his nose rests against the older man’s temple.

“I see you as the man who saved mine.” He tilts his head to kiss him, and if there was any doubt in Harry’s mind that he means what he says, it’s gone now. And he tries to make that clear in the way he kisses him back.

_ I love you. _

_ I need you. _

_ I’m sorry. _

_ Forgive me. _

_ You’re my everything. _

 

Eggsy’s mouth answers in kind.


End file.
